Silly things that annoy you about Zwift (Keep it light and Fun)

When I see users on course (whose IRL cadence sensor must be on the fritz) “coasting” up AdZ or whatever horrific climb I’m doing :grimacing:

haha, yeah, or the opposite when their cadence must be about 300rpm!!

“Rain” in the London subway.
The giant branch the you have to ride through after leaving the London subway, over on the Surrey side.
As others have mentioned, being passed by runners on some of the KOM segments.

I feel like there are a few other things, but they can’t be too big if I can’t remember them. I’ve also been away from Zwift for a while (lots of outdoor riding), but I’m sure I’ll remember, and find new, when I get back indoors more.

What about when you get randomly booted from an event, and when you try to rejoin you find yourself flying through the air near the 360 bridge!

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^ I have taken that flight! Also, when I’m on the verge of being dropped from a group ride, but then someone from the blob is having no trouble at all keeping pace in spite of doing multiple random complete 360’s off the front ‘round and ‘round the roadway :astonished:

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The night lighting. Firstly, why are we even riding at night? But when it is night it’s like there is a mini sun hovering above us so we are still lit up. It’s just so unnatural and weird looking.

The time to nearest riders. In the early days of France I joined and then quit an event so I could ride up Mont Ventoux. I was at the bottom and the nearest rider ahead of me was only 30 minutes up the road but they were nearly at the top of the mountain. Now, no-one is covering that 15km distance between us in 30 minutes but because of the way Zwift calculates the time to nearest rider that was the time shown. I just found it funny.

Giant bird shadows like the sun is only a mile away from the surface of Watopia.

I think those are PTERODACTYLs with 30 foot wind spans.

Giant bird shadows like the sun is only a mile away from the surface of Watopia.

I think those are PTERODACTYLs with 30 foot wind [sic] spans.

Or… do we add to this thread the idea that Watopia is built on a flat-earth model??

Been scrolling up and down worlds choice but cannot seem to locate Jarvis Island. Some left it there when we move to Watopia back in April 2015.

My avatar has coasted to a stop on a 3% downhill. I tried this outside and got a different result :laughing:

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^ Ohh if Zwift ever made an Australia world for any reason, these should be magpies!!!

Opposite of “may the road rise up to meet you”… the road disappears, and I’m outstanding in my field… :slight_smile: 2020-09-13_18081513_clean|690x388

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A few:

  • Other day I was climbing the NY KOM with the futuristic glass roads, noticed a rider floating to my right. He cut in front of me as he reached the road and then floated off the road again to the next bend in the road and got onto it again. Must be riding a new Wahoo bike IRL.
  • When I get passed uphill by someone pushing 70W while I’m pushing > 200W. I thought the lightweight pros are all busy racing in Europe, too busy to Zwift. Plus they push 400W. Zwift is full of 30 kg riders (70 lb) I guess. Or they are riding the new Wahoo bike, which has nitrogen in the tires for low weight.
  • Hair styles are boring and out-dated. It’s like Zwift is N.Korea, only a handful of styles to choose. Supreme leader has left us with limited choices. Women need more styles and lengths. Also need option to match their quarantine hair color be it green, purple, or blonde with dark roots.
  • Zwift really needs to address the needs of future riders and customers, it’s time to have it work with the Fisher Price Smart Cycle. Get them hooked now. And that would negate my complaint about super light riders passing me on hills, if I knew IRL that KOM/QOM was taken by a 45lb grommet hammering like 50W. The Wahoo bike works with Zwift, why not the FP Smart Cycle. See DCR’s comprehensive review here. https://www.dcrainmaker.com/2019/12/fisher-price-think-learn-smart-trainer-review.html
  • Zwift really needs one thing in the water as you pedal the road coming out of downtown in Watopia: Sharks with Lasers. All those hoping for rowing to be part of the platform may pipe down when they realize they will need to dodge the lasers or they will poke holes in their sculls/shells and they will sink. Have the sharks put on a laser show as we wait to start a race. I heard the Wahoo bike has built in lasers planned for V2. It will be a $800 option to go with the $250 headwind fan.
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Sometimes they steal my socks.

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I’m beginning to doubt the randomness of the boost selector going up the alpe.

I have done the alpe every day for the past week and have got the aero boost going up every time and always a feather at the top! Either zwift hates me or the the random selection hates me! haha

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Why is there never anyone eating at Pipo’s Pizza Place???

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When it is a big event and riders are all over the place and things are wonky. Love the guy doing figure 8s while doing 5w/kg, or the bike that comes by you that doesn’t have anyone on it.

When riding anywhere in the Zwift world and there are only 10-20 spectators duplicated over and over…and in business clothes. I’ve watched the TdF on TV for many years and I don’t remember seeing any spectators wearing 3-piece suits or skirts with high heels carrying a brief case.